I Have An Idea That Will Solve Their Problem

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Since the Oscars can't seem to find a host, I have an idea to staunch the loss of viewers:

Have E! TV broadcast the celebrities:
  • Getting out of their limos
  • Walking the red carpet (while the limos are going around the block)
  • Getting back into their limos.
CNN
Whole thing could be done in 45 minutes, tops. Then, publish an online list of the winners while the celebrities are driven to their respective parties. 

No more nearly three-hour broadcasts. No more celebrities having to pretend to be interested while the "best technical awards" video plays. No more closeups of four "it's an honor to be nominated" losers while the winner isn't even in attendance. 

Everybody wins. 

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